Tag Archives: Rotary

Living Next Door to Myself

BY KIMBERLY MAYER

There is a quarantine in process in our house on island. A couple guests fled NYC last week and are hunkered down in our home, while we moved into a neighbors’ empty house. Our neighbors would be here too, but they’re having their own complications. Our guests did right to come here. On one of my husband’s Rotary Zoom meetings this week I overheard County Council member Rick Hughs mention that San Juan County may be the safest county in the state of Washington.

We hadn’t traveled in awhile. Hadn’t left the island for months until we ferried over to leave a car for our guests at the ferry terminal on the mainland. Because, of course, we can’t ride together. We can’t even hug.

So our guests came home to our house and we moved in next door. Our dogs zigzag back and forth between the two homes, otherwise this is all so diplomatic, it’s almost détente.

There is no other way to say it, I am beside myself.

One of our guests does her work outdoors on a deck. Her laptop upon her lap, the paddle arms of the Adirondack chair holding her glass of water. The other guest works comfortably in my writing hut, a stone throw from the house. The shortest commute imaginable.

I have noticed this in just moving over one property: a little closer to the water, a lower bank, a change in elevation. A slight turn, a change in light, and it changes everything. A time away.

As each day draws to a close we find ourselves back at our place around the fire pit. Chairs pushed back, a socially distanced campfire with our guests. They come out of our house carrying trays as I would do, and wool throws as the temperature dips in the evening. I begin to feel like myself again there before the fire, deep into the night.

Who needs a house anyway? We’re starting to rethink the whole thing. At night we all sleep in our respective bedrooms in our respective homes with our heads turned toward the windows over the bay, awaiting first light.

How else would we have noticed the rainbow? The slow waltz of the Shasta Daisies opening one by one, day by day. The sheer madness at the hummingbird feeders—the darting back and forth between fuschia blossoms and sugar water. The otters who come up from the beach, and the large fox who kept his distance making his way down toward the beach. And the deer who don’t come near when the dogs are out.

And the sounds! Raccoons chittering, heron squawking, gulls cooing, the shrill of an eagle. We’d miss all this inside, listening to ourselves, the radio, the news. Oh god, the news.

Note: Upon finishing this piece I went to town, and outside the bakery I ran into a friend. One of the happiest, most beautiful people I know.

“Carla! How are you doing?” I asked.

We chatted about her family, my family, the kids being the lights of our lives. But as for her, “Now they’ve taken away my smile,” she lamented through her mask before climbing into her SUV.

She too is beside herself.

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My Next Dinner Party

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photo credit: Ashley Mayer

BY KIMBERLY MAYER

As for table decorating, it is hard to beat a simple, large plate whose design and color don’t compete with the food, a simple glass that makes the wine seems to float in air, a great big soft napkin of any color that strikes your fancy, and pots of field flowers (or weeds), or a few poppies. Lee Bailey 

Here’s an idea: assuming we only invite people whom we like to dinner, why not tell them just how much? This idea came to me when my husband returned home from a Rotary meeting one morning last week.

Our life in a nutshell: Paul seems to wake up dressed and push off like Superman. That’s what I called him back in the days he wore a three-piece suit to work. I hardly saw him. Whereas I rise slowly, brew a pot of coffee and write my Morning Pages–three pages longhand—followed by my gratitude journal entries, every day, before I even talk to anyone. So I knew something about what Paul was talking about when he said they were visited at Rotary by David Brooke, aka That Gratitude Guy.

A former Nordstrom store manager, for the past 7 years David “The Brooker” Brooke has been speaker, life coach, author, and teacher on the transformative power of gratitude, a self-described “social entrepreneur.” His message: “… no matter how stressful or tragic, (any situation in life) can be reframed and refocused into a fulfilling journey, by using the simple principles of gratefulness.”

Now I’ve probably been keeping gratitude journals longer than David’s been running workshops, so I know firsthand what he’s saying. To put it simply, starting each and every day with a gratitude list—five things for which I am grateful—has me looking up, not down. Getting off on the right foot, so to speak. Lord knows it’s way too easy to start off on the wrong one, and spend the rest of the day catching your fall.

At the breakfast meeting of The Rotary Club of San Juan Island, David passed out cards and asked each member to select a partner and write down attributes he or she appreciates about that person, then give the card to him or her. I read my husband’s card, written by a very new friend, and saw that he nailed it. All my husband’s best qualities on one card, which I have put away in a dresser drawer—to be taken out whenever I need to be reminded.

So at my next dinner party, I am going to borrow a page from David Brooke. We’ll each pick a partner and write down as many attributes as we can about the other for one minute. Then share it with him or her.

This I know before any consideration of food, wine, and what I love most, the linens and dishes and table setting—so much so that I dream of my late grandmother’s butler pantry. It’s a recurring dream of mine in which the pantry figures as prominently as any other room in the Connecticut manse.  Gram had more glasses and dishes than Crate & Barrel, and in the dead space above the mile-high cupboards, rolls and rolls of paper towels. She could house whatever she wanted to store in that pantry.

Gram would have loved Costco. And I would have loved parlor games.

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Filed under dinner party, gratitude, table setting