Thank You For Asking, But No, I Am Not Alright

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Photo By Paul Mayer

BY KIMBERLY A MAYER

I have my father on speed dial. He said to call any time I need to hear that our country, our world, will survive president-elect Trump. While the nation is going rogue, I am sitting on my island in the Salish Sea thinking this is not far enough away.

On election day, I wore ironed white linen in honor of the suffragettes. And Buddhist prayer beads around my neck for good measure. We were giddy then.

But I should have known. A Trump-sized migraine had preceded the election. His supporters were hiding in plain sight. Some were even hiding in my extended family.

Without ever having met, Donald Trump and I go way back.

My first husband was a narcissist, and I am here to tell you that nothing good can come of it. I don’t know how I survived, but imagine arriving in NYC in the 70’s after the storm of the marriage, arriving on my arse, so to speak. In an era when Donald Trump was the golden boy, or so he thought. Building golden towers, hideously gaudy to everyone else.

Even then I loathed him. I may have had conflicted feelings about my ex, but I was very clear on Donald J. Trump. I had a plan to walk out of any venue should he saunter in, or cross the street if I saw him coming—but of course he was always riding limos, then as now. And fortunately I was spared.

Over the years, after extensive analysis of these two men, I was able to define my feelings as a toxicity to narcissism. And so I stay away from those types. Now here it comes back to me, embodied in one of its original suits.

What to do? What to do? First I will write this. It’s as much for me, you understand, as it is a message-in-a- bottle to the world. I need to know that I can still write.

Then what? This is what it’s like after that election, when you don’t know if you can see straight, if you can find your feet, or get out of bed in the morning. It’s an awful lot like my divorce.

Next I’ll retrieve the piece that I had started to write before the election. On the Madrona Tree, and our shared DNA with trees. For someone is going to have to care a wit about the environment in this new era. Right?

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12 Comments

Filed under divorce, narcissism, the 2016 election, the environment

12 responses to “Thank You For Asking, But No, I Am Not Alright

  1. Alice B. Acheson

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    CORRECT!!! I was listening to NPR today and the discussion centered around the Paris Environment Treaty (whatever its correct name is), signed just 4 days prior to our election, and the grave concerns about DJT negating all that good work.

    Thank you for speaking out!

    A fellow New Yorker who shared your opinion of him in the 70s — and now! Alice

    ========== Alice B. Acheson, Book Marketing/Publishing Consultant P. O. Box 735 Friday Harbor, WA 98250 360/378-2815 http://sites.google.com/site/alicebacheson a little elbow room wrote on 11/16/2016 10:25 AM: > WordPress.com > a little elbow room posted: ” Photo By Paul Mayer BY KIMBERLY A MAYER > I have my father on speed dial. He said to call any time I need to > hear that our country, our world, will survive president-elect Trump. > While the nation is going rogue, I am sitting on my island in the Sa” >

  2. Tug

    Kim, a beautiful piece about a deeply disturbing time. As the old saw goes, the more personal the story, the more universal. Thank you for sharing. Well done!!

  3. Beautiful piece. Sadly, we can’t divorce Trump. But let’s try not to give him the power to negatively consume our heart, beliefs and understanding of what is right and just…Big order! Keep Dad on speed dial.
    Unlike you, I was very worried that Trump would win. This evening a caller on NPR said something I found quite succinct – “People that didn’t vote for Trump took him literally but not seriously. People that voted for Trump took him seriously but not literally.”

  4. Kathy Gusdorf

    A lovely piece Kim. I remember being with you and Paul the night George W beat Al Gore in a similar fashion and we thought that was depressing! I look forward to reading your story on our connection to trees. I think we each need to dig deep about how to move forward and turn our fear into action.

  5. Paul M

    I had the opportunity to sit next to Trump and Marla Maples at a football game in Tucson. It is always stunning when you converse with someone who knows virtually everything. Later I worked for an individual that had this same trait, these relationships never work out well. In any case we cannot let them wear us down and accept their version of the truth.

  6. Pingback: Thank You For Asking, But No, I Am Not Alright - Pyragraph

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